We are the software engineers

Hey I am also a software engineer.

Do you know me ? Hmm ............. to tell about me, I do not know much coding. Somehow I have to survive. I am working in maintenance, so not much coding will come. Hmm........ if it comes, I have a way out. I start to ask doubts to someone who knows a bit of coding. My doubts become so persistent that, at last, he will sit and code and go. When asking doubts I am very careful. If manager comes, I start to explain things to the poor guy in loud voice. I never sit down also. Standing gives a feeling of superiority, and people think I am in a hurry to work :) Ha ha I am also a software engineer.................

Hey I too am a software engineer. I specialises in forwarding messages, both personal and official. Personal mails are forwarded to mail groups, ya gives me visibility. Official mails, I take contents from my team members' mails and write mails to managers. Credit to team member .......... hmm .....no way, information is free, anything in my inbox becomes mine........... I am also a software engineer.

Hmm... I also am a software engineer..........I specialises in consolidation and sharing. I do not do independent work. I am too great for that. I divide work, make others do it, consolidate results, make the work mine. My machine is always free for sharing. Anybody can put excel sheets in my shared folder. But mind you, I will consolidate them. Ya, I too am a software engineer.

Hey I am also a software engineer, I always complaint that I want to do technical work. It is a secret that my team lead had long back recogonised that I can not code anything and has put me in documentation. But I have to put it to my advantage . So I tell all that I am taking the hard part of documentation so that others can do the easy work , the code. But reguralarily I will complaint in team meetings that I want to code. Ya, why can nt I, I am also a software engineer.

Hey I am also a software enginner, a perpetual moaner, I always complaint that my hands are full. I say I do all the work in the team. According to me all others are free, only I am working. I will ask anyone questions at anytime, I want the answer then and there. But when they come to me, I m as usual busy. Five things to finish before I go home today, if at all I go home. Basically I do not get anything done. I know how to make others think I am busy. I always make things complex and difficult. Always there are dependencies. :) Ya mee too, ya ya , software engineer.

Hey I am the beautiful software engineer. I am too soft, I am too beautiful too. Nobody will allow me to do any work. As soon as I get something to do, some one will come running and do the work. I just need to smile and make occasional praises. Ya an accasional lunch and tea also I have to suffer. Even client meetings I just go, sit there and smile. I too soffffffffffffftttttttttttttttware engineer.

Ya I am also SWPR engineer. SWPR ........... Software Public Relations............ ya ya ........... you got me........I organise outings, group activities... etc etc. Software, ya I make databases for collecting information about T Shirt sizes. But mind you, I am always top rater, because I work across teams.......... ya SWPR engineer.

Ya I am the software enginner specialising in tea and cigarettes . Morning I have one tea and cigarette (not only men) . Ya by the time I finish it wil be lunch, I go for lunch finish it, oh my ..., again tea time, have a tea,, time to go home,,,,,,,,,,,, I am also a softie. A pinch of gossip and ogling makes tea time productive.

I am serious software engineer, I do things seroiusly , provided it has nothing to do with my actual work. I trade, I sell , I buy,...................... everything very seriously.............. ya ya very very serious software engineer.

I am Man in the Middle software engineer. I basically do not mind my own business. Like some one said, anywhere there are 2 people, I will be with them. I will give expert comments on anything. I will make others look foolish. If others are talking to their managers, about their hardship also, I will interfere and make them understand that this is the best company and best salary they can get. Then I will goto meeting room and ask for my hike................. me too engineer, ya, software engineer.

I am a software engineer, I like drawing boards. Anything happens, I start to draw figures and lines. I call meeting in morning, afternoon and evenings. Software engineering , it is simple, it is all in design, it is all in my figures. Do not ask why I can not draw a rectangle properly. It is modern art. ...........:) Ya I am also a software engineer.

Me, I am browsing software engineer. Even though I work in my company, I am contracted to check the efficiency of IE and Firefox. I take up load testing, performance testing, exclusively for IE and Firefox.

I am software engineer, but a particular breed, I do only my job, I am well aware of my job boundaries. I am an expert in making anything, others work. I do the work of a mail server, I redirect all requests to correct parties. I will never learn a new technology. I am an domain expert also.

Hmm I am biggest software guy. I am QUALITY. I am not concerned about the quality of actual deliverable, because I do not know anything about coding. But when audit comes I become a superstar. I start to reverse engineer documents. I make 'lookahead' meetings in past. I fabricate risk analysis. The code will never goto production. But I , my project and company are all certified......................

Ya guys , we are the software engineers.

May look a bit cynical, but next time look around and classify ............ you will be surprised how this matches.